I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I think my vagina is haunted
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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