just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize