I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize