I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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