omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Go christen that room with your naked body.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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