i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Randomize
