do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
