I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
