Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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