Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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