im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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