Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Randomize
