Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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