new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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