Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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