I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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