i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Randomize