There is no way he is gay with that hair.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Randomize
