That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
i've created a new STD.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
