We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Quick, to the slutcave!
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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