it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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