last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
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