I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
