am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
