yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
