Your dad touched me again.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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