Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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