Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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