it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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