And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
