Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
