Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
