nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
