He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I wish i was in the wii world.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
