I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
