Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
