wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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