What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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