Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
