FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize