your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
