On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
