Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
