Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
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I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
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Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.