Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...

(1-508): View more from Massachusetts

He wasn't the only one with a full load.

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(508): He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket... (1-508): He wasn't the only one with a full load. http://tfl.nu/y8kb

Replies (24) Good night (6454) Bad night (1209)
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(917): View more from New York City

well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'

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(917): well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv' http://tfl.nu/bicf

Replies (49) Good night (11256) Bad night (951)
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(650): View more from California

Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.

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(650): Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap. http://tfl.nu/3ryi

Replies (26) Good night (6902) Bad night (1141)
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(951): View more from California

Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.

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(951): Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable. http://tfl.nu/q51j

Replies (31) Good night (7049) Bad night (1469)
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(417): View more from Missouri

I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line

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(417): I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line http://tfl.nu/6dkx

Replies (6) Good night (3592) Bad night (1559)
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(703): View more from Virginia

they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.

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(703): they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them. http://tfl.nu/6kqz

Replies (2) Good night (3344) Bad night (976)
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(828): View more from North Carolina

You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt

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(828): You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt http://tfl.nu/0h7j

Replies (8) Good night (1152) Bad night (2925)
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(731): View more from Tennessee

We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.

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(731): We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage. http://tfl.nu/1q8x

Replies (5) Good night (2992) Bad night (635)
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(707): View more from California

Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.

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(707): Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready. http://tfl.nu/moy8

Replies (13) Good night (1617) Bad night (758)
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(562): View more from California

I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!

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(562): I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!! http://tfl.nu/mwf9

Replies (3) Good night (863) Bad night (497)
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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.

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(902): When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know. http://tfl.nu/c52r

Replies (4) Good night (972) Bad night (315)
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(650): View more from California

And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.

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(650): And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time. http://tfl.nu/nm1x

Replies (4) Good night (601) Bad night (385)
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(757): View more from Virginia

So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.

(757): View more from Virginia

i mean i let him but still...

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(757): So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet. (757): i mean i let him but still... http://tfl.nu/w6qm

Replies (1) Good night (665) Bad night (498)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.

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(412): That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude. http://tfl.nu/6t77

Replies (0) Good night (448) Bad night (428)
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(502): View more from Kentucky

I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.

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(502): I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/8x6n

Replies (2) Good night (529) Bad night (189)

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