Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.