Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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