I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize