I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
