If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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