what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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