Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
