Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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