Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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