but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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