my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
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