If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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