Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
