I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
