Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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