I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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