bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
