Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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