I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize