He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I DEMAND FORESKIN
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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